I was going to write this last night but I was still feeling a bit like a deer in the headlights. Tonight I still kind of feel like that but what the heck, this is our story about our lives in a tiny house, the path that brought here and our experience with autism . So I am just going to keep this real. Our life for lack of a better word is concentrate. We laugh from our belly and cry from our gut. My goal is not to fluff the truth about our tiny house, our journey or Autism. You all have a front seat to our successes and our failures . Why ? Some people just need to know they aren’t alone, that falling isn’t failure, that messy and success can happen in the same sentence.
So here it goes. A few weeks ago was Noah’s birthday, more than anything he wanted his very own pet. As a lot of you read in Hardware store or Cat food ? and Tiny House BIG PROBLEMS !! we found Pricilla. She was so perfect for us, she seemed to need us as she was a stray with no family (or so we thought) and Noah was a little boy who desperately wanted her. When she came here she seemed so content, she seemed greatful to have a family but just a few days later we found out that she had an owner and a little family of her own to care for. With a broken hearted boy we brought her back so she could care for her 2 kittens. The owner told us when the kittens got old enough she would gladly give us one, so there was hope still yet for Noah to have a pet. The weeks went buy and the kittens grew bigger and Noah went to pick one out. He was so stinking happy when we was able to finally bring Skittles home.
This pretty little girl is just as sweet as her mom. We instantly loved her. We got her the best cat food and I went to work showing Noah how to care for her. He kept saying aaaw mom, she soooo soft as he petted her and petted her. As the weekend went on I started to realize she was TO soft, Noah was petting her harder and harder , he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t put her down he became increasingly more over stimulated with her presence. I tried setting some limits , even tried hiding her , still realizing he wants to do nothing but love this baby but he just COULDN’T stop… he tried as hard as he could to stop until finally he had put the kitten in the toilet and shut the lid so he couldn’t see her….he tried sooooo hard but after that I had no choice but to bring the kitten to my friends house for her own safety. Noah cried and spun and banged and bit himself and me…it was just to much. The rest of the week seemed to spiraled from there. Last night Noah was so over stimulated and stressed he stripped down naked and rolled in a mud puddle in front of his peers at daycare…Noah understands to some degree that his behavior is shocking to people, he understood after he was able to settle down last night that his peers might not like him anymore. This morning when I dropped him off at daycare he clung to my leg and cried, his little face red with embarrassment, My heart broke for him. I feel as though I set him up to fail, I felt like an epic failure, I should had known better………… This life we live is often akin to going to the gym, we work out hard and because of that we are strong but every time we try a new routine boy oh boy does it hurt.
On my way home from work today I prayed ” Lord Jesus, its been a long hard week can you please give us just a bit of peace tonight ?” I picked up Noah at daycare and he was calm, not spinning and banging like he was the rest off the week. When we got home, sitting on our porch was this majestic guy.
I shook my head and looked up and smiled. Sometimes we don’t get what we want, we get what we need.
Jay stopped over and stained the skirting around the house, after we sat on the porch and ate eggs and sausage and talked like it was just another day.
Note self(And Noah) : It may be a bad day, maybe even a bad week but its a beautiful life.
See you all tomorrow !!!