Sitting here snug in this tiny house in Maine, the temperature outside is -1 degree, inside an easy 70. This place super easy to heat and right now I am feeling very thankful for that. Everything is not ideal but really is it ever for anyone? The forecast for this weekend predicts a whopper of a storm with a possibility of 20 or more inches of snow ! This will be the big test for this tiny house and for our endurance here. I heat with a electric fire place and I’m really thinking we might be in trouble if the power goes out. I think that might be the case for a lot of people not just us. With this in mind I’ve been thinking of alternative heat sources. I’m not really crazy about heating with gas in such a small space, wood isn’t a good option either as Noah has asthma. A heat pump or pellet stove would still leave us without heat if there was a power outage. At minimum I do see a generator in our future. Watching the monster storm on the horizon knowing that my little mr is completely depending on me to keep him safe and warm is a little unnerving. The last several weeks have me a little unnerved, being out of work with this shoulder injury has taken a toll on my finances and my personal endurance, the lack of sleep, the pain is wearing on me. I just keep taking one step at a time and thinking of the blessing in the here and now, so far its is working. God has a way of putting just the right people in my life at just the right time, this time is no different. Though we have and will continue to face challenges we have also been gifted so much joy, adventures and beauty in the last few weeks. If I were to just sit here and keep my eyes, my heart looking up I would be so much more confident in HIS ability to provide for us, he always does. If I could just keep looking up I could let go of this fear because I know he has never let us down. I find proof in what I see… let me share with you my hope.
This is what keeps things in perspective, these moments in time that we would just miss if we spend our time not believing in miracles. These are the miracles, this is what I am working for, these very moments. They are here inspite of hardship, the lesson is to see them, stay in them, not to miss them worrying.
Feeling small in this tiny house, feeling unsure, antsy with so many things unfinished in my life but feeling powerless to finish them. This shoulder injury is really got a hold on me, my first instinct is to push through it but that is what got me here in this position to begin with. So I’m here, trying to heal, trying to be patient and listen to God in this place. I’m trying to be understanding and forgiving. I’m looking hard for the gifts in this. Lack of sleep has made it even fuzzier. I pray and pray. Pray that somehow God will touch my lips and help the words that I speak be understood. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations seem to run amuck in times of adversity. Humaning in this Tiny house, there is no place to hide. Time to walk the talk and do it anyway. Inspite of this we are still here, though I’m not sure where my house payment and bill money will come from next month as I am unable to work, we have it this month. We are still loved, we still had a beautiful Christmas with family and friends. I haven’t failed, not yet anyway. I really just wanted to stop by and let you all know that I am thinking of you and miss you all. Please don’t give up on Tiny House On The Spectrum, we are still here fighting for the dream. I will be back to blogging daily as before hopefully soon. Until then I will post when I am able. Thank you ALL
Sitting on my front porch I can almost feel what Vincent van Gogh felt when he imagined Starry Night . It must have been a cold night for the sky to be that particular Deep color blue. The moon dangling in the sky like a giant dense egg yolk. When you breathe out your breath swirls around your head and up into the air and dances in the sky just like Van Gogh described in his painting. Hit me like a ton of bricks just sitting here with my feet kicked up on the railing staring at the sky snuggled in my blanket exactly what he felt or at least what I hope he felt . Sitting on this porch thankful for this tiny house on the Spectrum I could have never imagined we would be here, when just a few short years ago I was lying in the bottom of a bunk bed in a women’s shelter, with my son terrified of where life would bring us it felt so scary and hopeless. It’s been a lot of hard work getting here . As I sit on this porch faced with another hurdle part of me is screaming “ I can’t do this anymore” “ I give up” but the other part of me saying “ look what God did, he brought us from a homeless shelter to here ! What is his plan for this??? Overall I’ve been a good steward of the money he’s given me and spent wisely but still with this shoulder injury even a few weeks down could blow us out of the water. I’m going to keep my head up and my nose to the ground. I’m going to try to stay focused on the things that I can do and do them. I can still blog, I have voice to text. There’s a lot I can still do, it’s just time to change gears. Maybe its time to explore new avenues into making this tiny house community a reality. Up until now the work and miracles God has done in my life has been between him and I and very few others but now it will be between him and I and all of you. I think it’s okay to feel scared, it’s okay to feel worried but more importantly even in that to dig in, rely my faith so you all can be witness to what he can do. So stick around and watch, and I will to !