Tiny In My Tiny House

Feeling small in this tiny house, feeling unsure, antsy with so many things unfinished in my life but feeling powerless to finish them.  This shoulder injury is really got a hold on me, my first instinct is to push through it but that is what got me here in this position to begin with.  So I’m here, trying to heal, trying to be patient and listen to God in this place. I’m trying to be understanding and forgiving. I’m  looking hard for the gifts in this. Lack of sleep has made it even fuzzier. I pray and pray. Pray that somehow God will touch my lips and help the words that I speak be understood. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations seem to run amuck in times of adversity. Humaning in this Tiny house, there is no place to hide. Time to walk the talk and do it anyway. Inspite of this we are still here, though I’m not sure where my house payment and bill money will come from next month as I am unable to work, we have it this month. We are still loved, we still had a beautiful Christmas with family and friends. I haven’t failed, not yet anyway. I really just wanted to stop by and let you all know that I am thinking of you and miss you all. Please don’t give up on Tiny House On The Spectrum, we are still here fighting for the dream. I will be back to blogging daily as before hopefully soon. Until then I will post when I am able.  Thank you ALL

Good Night Folks

The Next Hurdle- Time To Power Up !

Sitting on my front porch I can almost feel what Vincent van Gogh felt when he imagined Starry Night . It must have been a cold night for the sky to be that particular Deep color blue. The moon dangling in the sky like a giant dense egg yolk. When you breathe out your breath swirls around your head and up into the air and dances in the sky just like Van Gogh described in his painting. Hit me like a ton of bricks just sitting here with my feet kicked up on the railing staring at the sky snuggled in my blanket exactly what he felt or at least what I hope he felt . Sitting on this porch thankful for this tiny house on the Spectrum I could have never imagined we would be here, when just a few short years ago I was lying in the bottom of a bunk bed in a women’s shelter, with my son terrified of where life would bring us it felt so scary and hopeless. It’s been a lot of hard work getting here . As I sit on this porch faced with another hurdle part of me is screaming “ I can’t do this anymore” “ I give up” but the other part of me saying “ look what God did, he brought us from a homeless shelter to here ! What is his plan for this??? Overall I’ve been a good steward of the money he’s given me and spent wisely but still with this shoulder injury even a few weeks down could blow us out of the water. I’m going to keep my head up and my nose to the ground. I’m going to try to stay focused on the things that I can do and do them. I can still blog, I have voice to text. There’s a lot I can still do, it’s just time to change gears. Maybe its time to explore new avenues into making this tiny house community a reality. Up until now the work and miracles God has done in my life has been between him and I and very few others but now it will be between him and I and all of you. I think it’s okay to feel scared, it’s okay to feel worried but more importantly even in that to dig in, rely my faith so you all can be witness to what he can do. So stick around and watch, and I will to !

Good Night Folks

Tiny House Redemption

Life can be so unpredictable. One day your cruising along without a care in the world, the next day it can all come to a screeching holt, you think you’ve got this and then you find out you really don’t no matter what safe guard you have in place, things can unravel quickly for any of us in the other percent. Over 100 million people in the United States live just one or two pay checks away from poverty, while 43.1 million live in poverty. Out of 325.7  million Americans, those are some huge numbers. So why are we living so close to the edge ? Part of that is because we are trying to borrow something that’s not ours and call it our own. We drive cars we don’t own, we live in houses we don’t own and spend money on credit that is not ours. The illusion of a good life with all the bells and whistles is now considered success when in reality its not , its debt. When staying out of debt should be the goal, getting good credit is the goal leaving a very fragile infrastructure that can be taken down quickly with an injury or illness. Though I see this and I’m sure many of you do too. I am sitting on the edge of poverty with my hands tied behind my back to scared to move because I feel at this very moment I am tittering. I know the answer, with a few acres of land and some hard working people we could start moving people into financial stability one family or individual at a time. Home ownership in a tiny house community isn’t novel or rebel or hippy, its smart. Its living mortgage free in just a short period of time, its being responsible for our footprint, our environment, our finances. How cool would it be to live in a community of people who where doing all those things. Their cost of living would be lower, their work to life ratio would be better, sounds like a happy little group of people to me !!  I want it ! I want it so stinking bad !! Here I am sit sitting on the edge tittering, worried about falling back into poverty now after my shoulder continues to get worse. Will I loose my job ? I owe just 10,000 on my tiny house, will I loose that to. I’m scared, I’m damn scared…. but still I can’t stop thinking about this tiny house community. If it were a reality, I wouldn’t have to be scared, I would just simply change gears. Its not right for people to live in fear like this, especially you are a hard working, honest person.  This fear though it drives me to advocate stronger, God always has a valuable lesson in times like these.

Good Night folks

The Secret Part 2

Its been a few days since I posted. Partly because I’ve been really struggling with mouse shoulder and partly because I’ve been feeling a bit blah. I know imagine feeling blah this time the year ? Its a weird blah that comes with getting up and going to work in the dark, working in an office all day and then coming home in the dark. DARK, DARK, DARK !!! BLAH !! But then I see the Christmas lights and feel the blah lifting a bit. Noah and I take different way home from day care every night just so we can see all the lights , I love to hear him squeal in the back seat “MOM ! MOTHER, MOTHER, LOOK AT THAT ONE !!!” I could just drive around with him all night. Then we get home and that’s when I realize my porch light is blown again. I’ve realized this every night for almost two weeks but still have not remembered to buy a new light. WE get out of the warm car and I fumble around on the freezing cold porch trying to find my key, Noah swinging from my coat ,Josiah on the other side of the door “MEEEEEEEOOOOOW” and there’s that blah again.  Finally in Noah races for the remote and I race to the fridge to find the easiest thing I can find to make for supper. Corn dogs was the cuisine of the night tonight. So much for my dedication to one ingredient foods, organic, white free…. my solemn vow to eat healthier just went right out the window with a little bit of blah . What is that you say ? Secret ? Oh my YES ! The SECRET ! Get ready for this !! Last Saturday I went on the very first date I have been on in 3 years !!! How did it go ? Well it was wonderful !! We had Thai food, went for a walk and found some beauty in the out doors, the sun on our faces, full bellies and great conversation. Super nice guy ! AND he even called me back ! I’m telling you folks I told him the whole truth !! And he still called me back, I even told him there were possibilities of meltdowns and biting, I didn’t even specify if it would be Noah or I delivering and he has talked to me every day since the date. I think I might be on to something here. Even if nothing comes of it, I am sure he will continue to be my friend. Us renewable energy, cool idea, tiny house loving people have a tendency to stick together. You know I think there was one thing about the date that I didn’t like, after being alone for so long at night when the house is quiet I am now keenly aware of that aloneness. So what is a girl to do ? BLah ? I could just not date and sink back into my hermit hole or I could get my big girls pants on be okay with a bit of this kind of humaning messy feelngs stuff. Well enough of that for now . Speaking of tiny house people, Jay is almost done with the next tiny house !! I am hoping to have pictures for you all soon see !

Have a great in blah evening folks !!!

The Secret

I so totally thought I rocked the whole mommying thing this morning, we even made it out the door 5 minutes early, I had my bag, Noah had his bag and it was clean sailing to Mcdonalds to pick up Noahs daily breakfast burrito. We got to daycare, Noah kicks his boots off and only had one sock on. I shook my head gave him a hug and walked out the door still feeling pretty good about my super mommying abilities, I mean hey, if that’s the ONLY thing we forgot today we are still rocking it YEAH me !! I got to work determined to dive in and push through the pile on my desk. About 11 my belly started to rumble and I reached down into my bag and fumbled around trying to find my lunch, no luck, I picked it up , opened it looked in, dumped it upside down and nothing, just a bag full of sales receipts, non winning lottery tickets, gum wrappers and action figures, it seems my lunch just disappeared. I decided to plow through a bit more work and then go down to my car, I was guessing it was probably just sitting on my seat. I got to my car and rummaged through the pile of ice coffee cups, toys, books, a pile of packages that needed to go to the post office and guess what ?! No lunch ! I remembered putting in my bag !!  Mysterious ! I headed to the post office on my lunch break and stopped for another ice coffee..it would just have to do.  With all that said my day has been good ! Its because I have a secret, a big secret , it could be good it could be  REAL good, it could be not so good but on this side of the secret is SOOOOO Exciting !! I walked in to meltdown central from work tonight  but even that couldn’t get me down ! This life in this tiny house, with my kiddo on the spectrum, with a God who is always in my corner is always full of surprises mostly unexpected. What’s my secret ? I’m not ready to tell yet but if you stay tuned long enough on this journey with us you are bound to find out no matter what happens !! I’m off to unplug my toilet.  Talk to you all soon  !!!

Humaning The Tiny House Way !

I wrote about humaning a few blogs ago but its been on my mind a lot. How to human is something we try to avoid especially when it gets messy, looks different or is a type of humaning we just don’t know how to do. In a tiny house we are forced to face those things head on often times because there is no place else to go. I’m not saying that like its a bad thing and if it were a bad thing its good because it is the perfect opportunity to resolve it, really we just simple have to. That goes for everything from meltdowns to the potty and feet smells to where to put the Christmas tree. In the short term it can be rough at times, I’m not going to lie but in the long term it is stretching both Noah and I and even the Josiah (our cat ). We are learning to be more patient with each other, more respectful in sharing our space, excepting and embracing the closeness. We have always been close but we are like two peas in a pod in the most literal sense as well as the friendship we are building as a result of that closeness. Everything here is personal. In this impersonal world my son needs this, we need this. This is what its like to live in a tiny house. We have been here 4 months, so now I can tell you all truthfully what its like. I realize more everyday it is the best decision I could have made. The snoring and the tripping over each other the always being able to see each other, the kitchen floor is the living room floor, the playroom floor the project floor the yoga floor  and the whole house can become the most amazing train track. We don’t spend our lives cleaning, or buying.  In the end its the coolest most useful place to learn how to human. Humaning is quickly becoming a lost art but here in this little house it is being found.

Good Night Folks

Meltdowns In The Community YOU Can Help- What Every Autism Parent Needs You to know !

The Christmas season is here ! So is the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping, crowded stores, Christmas lights, love and caring for our fellow human beings. Well we love Christmas here at the tiny house on the spectrum but along with anything with so much stimulation attached to it we can struggle. Some autism families have come to dred the holiday season because it is associated with such high anxiety. With so much autism awareness a lot of us are aware of the struggle. In fact a lot of people understand how challenging it can be to take any kiddo shopping during the holidays, they absolutely get the idea taking a kiddo on the spectrum shopping is that experience times a zillion . With that said even though countless people have told me they really want to help, they just don’t know what to do. Well folks I’m here to tell you ! So if you see us, or any other family with a child in the community and we are struggling here’s do’s the don’ts

What not to do:

Think that you have to be a professional with 25 years experience to help.

Engage with my child ( hes already overstimulated)

Offer me advice (Although I know your intentions are good , I’m not currently working for the mother of the year award, I’m just trying to get what need and get out of the store)

Roll your eyes, suck your teeth, stare or imply your negative feelings to myself or my child. Really its five minutes of your life, please keep your opinions in check, because my kiddo will notice and perseverate on your reaction making this trip and the next trip out and probably the rest of our day even more difficult.

Try to have a conversation with me about your third cousins nephew who has autism, though I appreciate the sentiment and I would love to connect and have that conversation with you, I’m really just trying to get what I need and get out of the store while we still can.

What you can do :

Open a door so I can wrestle my overwhelmed kiddo out it.

Let us by, I’m really not trying to be rude, again I’m just trying to get what we need and get out.

A reassuring smile. There has been times when I just thought “this is it ! This is the moment I will actually loose my mind”.  Then someone shot me a reassuring smile and it gave me just enough will power to get through it.

Let us butt in line. Waiting inline is the hardest part for us, there is candy bars and toys and noise and people in very close proximity to us, all a recipe for disaster.

Offer to help with a cart. Its hard to push a cart through a busy parking lot while trying to keep a kiddo in full meltdown mode safe.

Offer to help with putting bags in the trunk. Trust me, I fought hard to get those items .

Offer to put the cart away.

I know none of these things are fair, I would never ask you to do any of these things for me nor would most parents of autistic children but people have done all of these things for me and my son and they made all the difference in the world for us, that is where I got this list. I wish I knew the names of every person who has offered 5 minutes of their life to help us through 5 minutes of ours. Its never gone unnoticed even if it seemed to at the time. If you could be a fly on my wall you would see that five minutes was very special to me and I tell everyone what you did. Its people who do things like that, that help me to write posts like this, posts that spread the word that people are still mostly good . Thank you in advance !!

Happy Shopping ! 🙂

Not Your Usual Thanksgiving Thankfulness Story

Why would this be your usual Thanksgiving thankfulness story ? This is the tiny house on the spectrum, nothing is your usual around here and that is the first thing I am thankful for. What else  am I thankful for . I’m thankful that I have found a place in my life were I can be me and stand for what I believe in and still be flexible enough to love people who believe diffently from me (I haven’t always been that way) I’m thankful that I no longer worry about what other people think to the point I’m tied up in anxiety. I’m thankful that on my way home tonight there was a big truck riding my butt with their high beams on and a car in front of me going 15 miles under the speed limit, instead of going straight to being up set, I noticed the car in front of me had Florida plates, I thought to myself they must have been terrified of the winter roads. The guy behind me forgot to hit his dimmer button and really he wasn’t on my butt, his butt was just big. I am thankful we were able to spend time with family and Noah did not meltdown even one time. I’m thankful for my 13 year old car and quarter tred snow tires, I know that I am doing the best I can and these things keep me depending on my faith and have given me the experience to know that I can. I’m thankful for being alone because if I ever get married again I will not take that gift for granted. I’m thankful for this story , this journey and that you are here right now sharing it with me, it will make us both stronger people. Most of all I am thankful that there is a God that is bigger than all this and he is looking down on us, he is standing right beside us through all of this and he loves us….he knows the whys and the why nots and he is working everything just the way it should be because he knows the end of the story.

Happy Thanksgiving Folks !

 

Tiny Houses and Working Poor.

I’m just going to dive right into things tonight. Addressing the solutions and causes for poverty is something I am very passionate about. I hear so many different point of views and everyone definitely has an opinion about this very heated topic. As someone who has experienced both sides of the coin I can relate to a lot of people. I think something that a lot of people don’t discuss is the working poor. What defines working poor ? I think working poor included a large portion of individuals in our country, a lot of them do not even know they are poor. Here is my definition of working poor : An individual who’s life would quickly come apart if 1. Their car broke down 2. They lost their job 3. They lost childcare 4. Suffered illness  5. Missed work . These people would quickly move from working poor, paycheck to paycheck to homeless and living in extreme poverty because they lack the ability to save money, build on their skills through education, find resources or more often are not eligible for many resources because they fall just a few dollars over the income limits. They lack credit because any different combination of events can cause them to fall behind on their bills . They have little ability to build a safety net. I am keenly aware of the struggles of this demographic as I drove my 13 year old car through a snow storm on quarter tred tires tonight, all the way home I worried. What if I crashed and totaled my car. What if I got hurt. Any of those things would severely impact our lives. Either of those situations could cause us to loose everything. I’m always aware that we are living right on the edge. ITs scary. Being here in this place also keeps me thinking, I can I change this for us, how can I change this for others like myself ?  It always brings me back to the tiny house and the tiny house community. Attainable home ownership (not a 30 year mortgage )would be a game change for so many people. I feel fortune that I have a chance, that if I can keep my old car running for just one more year without car payments I can pay this house off in just 18 more months. I have hope even though I have fear and it drives me to work harder.  It would be harder to be in this place paying rent with no end in sight. If I can get through this year, then I can buy land and build another tiny house and then another and the people who buy them can do the same, together we could change a lot for a lot of people. The working poor don’t need or even want a hand out, they need a break just to get over that hump. Share this vision with me, anyone can make a difference, big or small. Look forward to hearing from you.

 

Good Night Folks