Looking At The Sun.

Was looking forward to being snug in my little home tonight, drove home in the dark, really missed my lil mr today. Picked him up from day care and as we were on our way to the car he stopped me and said ” how was your day at work today mom” , I was a bit shocked and found myself repeating him. I don’t think in the entire 6 years of Noahs life had he ever asked me anything about me without prompts. I began to tear up but then realized if I didn’t keep the conversation going we would miss a huge opportunity . Before I knew it Noah and I were asking questions about each others day and commenting like we did this every night, he even told me he went swimming today at school, he never tells me about anything he does even when I ask but here we were tonight and hes telling me about his field trip to the pool. Every now and then I see glimpses of my little boy, the boy without the anxiety, without the over stimulation from everything from a light bulb to a strange smell. Once all that is peeled away and its just Noah he looks so little, so sweet, so kind. He is the most empathetic person I know even crying when someone who hurts him gets in trouble. He so intensely sensitive to this world and to feelings in general that my fear is it will break him, cause him to be angry and bitter or to hide in fear. Doesn’t sound like what a parent of child should be saying ? Doesn’t sound like a child with autism ? Its not that individuals on the spectrum can’t feel, it’s that they feel to much, its not that they don’t see, they see to much, not that they don’t listen, it’s that they hear to much. Its like looking at the sun with every sense all the time.

Good night all !!

One thought on “Looking At The Sun.”

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